kill-natalie:

am I the only one who tries to learn lyrics to rap songs so I can surprise people during car rides

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

rdjmpreg666:

studied for 30 seconds im gonna rock this fuckin test 

moriatea:

confessions-of-a-teenage-fitblr:

plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family

 #worth it

has it ever occurred to you that you could change your life right this second if you really wanted to?  you could stand up and yell at your teacher if you wanted to, you could place yourself in a life or death situation if you wanted, you could even take that risk and just spontaneously and passionately kiss the one you really love by surprise.  you could change the entire outcome of our lives, and if our lives are really as bad as we say they are, why won’t we take those chances.

msfrizzlesmethlab:

nargleinfestation:

do you ever stop and realize that people probably discuss you from time to time when you aren’t around to witness it

not even in a specifically positive or negative way just like

people mention you, or think of you, you occur to people sometimes

thats the most unnerving thing that i can think of, thats so weird, that i exist to people when im not even interacting with them

omg that’s a gif not a picture^

cockringtoss:

in other news an artist in wisconsin made a portrait of the former pope benedict

it is made of condoms